Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize