You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
