It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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