I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
