In the future we'll all be gay
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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