Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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