I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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