I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
