cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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