Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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