I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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