i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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