Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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