I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
