Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
