In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
