rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
