somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
