I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she told me i tasted like america
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
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I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
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We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee