i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.