I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper