Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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