I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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