Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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