i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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