too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize