check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
