Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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