k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
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