I want to make a zoo with you.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
