i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize