They should really pass out barf bags in church
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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