Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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