I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I bet he comes in French.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize