I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
