I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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