Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Randomize
