Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
