She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
