idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
