this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship