she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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