she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
