there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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