How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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