I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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