I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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