I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
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u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."