I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I love having hate sex.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability