look no pants
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
