ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
