just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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