Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
