I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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