Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize