So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
