Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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