Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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