and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
