someone get that fucking seahorse.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
