i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She told me I should be a condom model.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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