a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
