You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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