I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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