he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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