She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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