Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize